The Sex Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles translate great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these singles, having sex brings immense meaning and repercussions.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex is excellent then the relationship will ready too).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels besides physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the chance to have sex with someone we are drawn in to exceptionally hard to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are involuntary and strong , causing powerful sensations of tourist attraction, enjoyment, love, nearness, and wellness .

But when issues develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely would not confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, says that a number of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in urbane areas, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North includes, "I believe this is a ' person' Look At This thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with sound More Help judgment. While excellent sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, objectives, requirements, and worths -- while feeling all those amazing sparks!

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